Post Classifieds
Children not conducive to success
By Angelica Rodriguez
On February 27, 2013
Twenty-two years ago, I was born to a mother who was the same age that I am now. My dad was just a
couple of weeks away from turning 23. Back then, it was considered normal to settle down young, even
into the 1990s, so this isn't that shocking to me.
But it's 2013, and I can't envision myself taking care of someone else at my age - I can barely manage
myself on a regular basis. Still, whenever I talk about the fact that I don't want to have kids, the
standard response is this: "Oh, you'll change your mind."
Family members and older co-workers, among others, speak of my decision to become a mother
as though it'll eventually happen, when in reality I'm not even on the fence about it - I'm fleeing in
the other direction. I've known this since age 14. While my cousins and friends decided they loved
babysitting and deciding how many children they would have, I was writing, playing sports and
wondering what the big deal about being a mom was.
I'll be honest - no one's expecting me to settle down right out of college. Nowadays, we expect a young
woman to at least obtain a Bachelor's degree before signing her life away to produce others. In 2009,
the average age of a first-time mother in the United States was 25, according to CBS News. That's a
jump of four years, from 1970's average age of 21.
All things considered, we're becoming more open-minded about being older parents. But that doesn't
mean we accept the choice not to have them at all, despite women's fertility rates dropping to record
lows.
The word "selfish" is often used when it comes to this topic. How dare you exercise your right to
decide your future! You're not thinking of all of the people who won't have to raise your potential child
first-hand, but want a kid around to spoil and sugar up and return to you once we've had our fill! (No,
really, this is why I want to be a godmother someday.) You're going to regret not having kids once
you're old and lonely. You mark my words, young lady.
I've heard it all, and I have this to say: Why am I automatically going to regret being child-free? I know
just as many people, if not more, who regret becoming parents when they did. There are so many more
things I can accomplish with my life without worrying about finding the right schools or buying a place
with a big enough backyard for a swing set ... oh, who am I kidding? The kids all have iPads these
days.
Either way, I have plenty of plans for my future, and none of them come equipped with time for being
a mom. Nor do I want to change that anytime soon. Why should I? To please everyone else? To fulfill
some silly role that's still pushed on women (and, to a lesser degree, men) no matter how successful
they are? I'll pass.
Being a parent is also a huge expense - think baby furniture, diapers, formula, big-kid beds, day care,
doctor visits, college funds, those iPads... it all adds up. According to CNN Money, for a two-parent,
middle-income household in 2010, the average cost of raising one child - from birth to age 18 - was
$226, 920. That doesn't even include college. Compare that to $10.99 on average for a 12-pack of
condoms, or $60 per year for a diaphragm, and my mind's definitely made up.
But most of all, my reason for not wanting kids is simple - I don't see them as the end-all, be-all of my
life. I like kids, and a happy family is a beautiful thing to witness. It doesn't mean I have to want it for
myself.
Were I to change my mind, I'd probably adopt. Over 250,000 kids enter the foster care system each
year in the United States, according to AdoptUSKids. Chances are, if I really wanted to, I could
provide one with a good home at some point in my life. But I'm not banking on it.
Having a child can change your life, for better or for worse. No one should go into that decision
without giving it considerable thought. Moreover, no one should feel like they have to defend their
choice not to become a parent. It's 2013. Move on.
Angelica Rodriguez can be reached by email at rodriguez.record@live.com.
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