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Hookups and heartbreak not for everyone
By Britney Nowak
On May 2, 2013
Let's be honest. Sex is on practically every college student's mind.
Some of them might be in a committed relationship. Others might hookup at
random, or they might hookup with the same person from time to time. No one
really bothers to question it, or even give it a second thought. After all, this is
college.
What is anyone really getting out of it though?
Donna Freitas discusses this in her book, The End of Sex. The book looks at
surveys from 11 colleges. The results say that students see casual sex as
the only romantic option on campus. While some might be content with that,
others may find that statistic disappointing. Freitas also talks about the "endless
partying on America's college campuses".
First of all, I find the "endless partying" portrayed by many to be the American
college experience very stereotypical.
Do we as college students enjoy having fun? Absolutely, but that doesn't mean
that it is one big party after another. Students also have to maintain their GPA,
go to classes and do homework. If they do not maintain a certain GPA, they get
kicked out of school. So if we all just party every night, then why aren't we all
failing classes and getting kicked out? Some students have only gone to a few
parties, and others haven't gone to any.
Then there's the "hookup culture" that Frietas so adamantly talks about. There's
no doubt that it happens. Whether someone had too much to drink at that party,
or they just had a bad day and needed someone to help them forget, hookups
are definitely a part of college life.
I don't believe in judging a person by who they have had sex with. There are
many reasons why a person might decide to hook up instead of being involved
in a committed relationship.
Many students' parents are divorced, and some may or may not be on good
terms with one or both of their parents. Some might have a perfect family life,
but perhaps they have had their heart broken one too many times. Others may
not have dated much in high school, and this might make them uncertain about
dealing with relationships.
As Frietas points out, relationships require a lot of care, upkeep and time. It's
hard for any busy college student to accommodate that, especially if they also
have to balance a job or internship on top of their classes and other activities.
So to clarify, I'm not trying to put anyone down for hooking up. Your sex life
is your business. However, one should figure out what they want out of their
sex life before they go for the random hook up. Sex education programs like to
stress practicing safe sex, and that is important, but what they fail to mention
is the ways your sex life can interfere with other aspects of your well being. The
hook up is one of those things that may work for some and not for others.
Sex without strings can come with other complications, including a lot of unwanted
drama. Despite the amount of discretion used, word can get out and people can
get hurt.
If you are one of those people who hooks up, and you have no complications
with it, that's great. However, if you do not hook up but you think that you
should, think about it for a while. If you are more of the romantic type, then
hooking up is probably going to only cause heartbreak. If you could care less
about a romantic relationship, then hooking up may be for you. Do not assume
that everyone is doing it, because everyone is not.
Britney Nowak can be reached by email at nowak.record@live.com.
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