Post Classifieds
Dickey's demons shape Cy Young hopeful
By Aaron Garland
On October 10, 2012
To the untrained eye, R.A. Dickey looks less than extraordinary - an aging pitcher with a rugged beard
salvaging what is left of his career by throwing meatballs over the plate.
It is a marvel how consistent Dickey, 37, gets outs by throwing perceived "meatballs" - more commonly
known as the knuckleball. He is considered one of the best pitchers in baseball, and a leading candidate
for this season's National League Cy Young award. Tell that to him even three years ago and he'd surely
give a look of great incredulity.
The experience Dickey has had since 1996 when he was drafted 18th overall by the Texas Rangers is
about as matchless of a journey a big leaguer can have.
For starters, he is a medical miracle. The guy has been missing an ulnar collateral ligament in his
pitching elbow joint since his college days at Tennessee. Doctors said he should feel pain when turning a
doorknob, yet he's still pitching.
However, the once-promising prospect flamed out in Texas in 2006 after registering egregious career
numbers, largely due to his declining velocity from missing the vital elbow ligament.
Desperate to stay in the bigs, he half-heartedly changed his style to become what he is today - the
outcast among pitching circles, a knuckleballer.
The pitch has become the key to his prodigious success on the field and off. The process of learning to
throw the perfect knuckleball has served as a metaphor for the genuine life he has searched for since
being sexually abused as a young boy.
Every vulgar, sick story from his childhood, the self-loath that grew within that ultimately led to suicidal
thoughts, his Christian birth and re-birth, failure as a husband and father, unsuccessful attempt to swim
the Missouri River, lifelong fascination with English literature, broken home consisting of an absent
father and alcoholic mother and eventual quest in defeating those demons and finding an honest life
can all be found in his tell-all autobiography, "Wherever I Wind Up, My Quest for Truth, Authenticity and
the Perfect Knuckleball."
It is a gripping read that gives a deeper appreciation of a person that trumps the general perception of
athletes as big-headed and greedy.
He had every reason to quit baseball. For most of his career, Dickey was a nomad bouncing from one
minor league city to the next, struggling to make ends meet for his wife and kids.
A poor career, reckless behavior and a weak persona became byproducts of Dickey putting everything
he had into fulfilling a boyhood dream of playing in the majors. Dickey pressed so hard to stay in
baseball that he neglected his loved ones and lost perspective on what mattered most to him as a
devout Christian. It led him to commit adultery and live separately from his wife and kids.
From 2007-09 Dickey took his knuckleball experiment to the mound for three franchises, resulting in
below-average success. That seemed to be the last straw.
His tumultuous life experiences, coupled with 13 years of baseball failure make Dickey's reincarnation as
a ball player and person that much more remarkable.
After disowning every loved one in his life, he finally became accountable for insensitive actions, and
revealed his sexual-abuse secret he was hiding for over 20 years. From that point, his reconciliation as a
born-again Christian was initiated.
Dickey signed with the New York Mets prior to the 2010 season. His Mets' debut was May 19, 2010. The
former drifter has had a constant home ever since.
It's funny how Dickey found solace in his life and career when he stopped caring so much about his
baseball ego, and put all of his emphasis into being true to him and his family. Making amends, along
with a newborn self-honesty has made him the man he always sought to be.
He has become the father that nearly missed a start to rush his daughter to the ER after she broke her
arm in 2011. Last offseason, he climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro and raised $100,000 to promote awareness of
the human trafficking issue in India.
The Dickey of 2005, owner of a 6.67 ERA, may have made an excuse to forgo those opportunities. The
Dickey of 2012, owner of 20 wins, 230 strikeouts and a 2.73 ERA (all top-five in the league), accepts
them with a fresh attitude on life. He has become one of baseball's finest people, subsequently
transforming into one of its best players.
Dickey and his story are both unique, which makes him apt to be the only knuckleballer in professional
baseball.
He is fascinated with the New York metro subway system, climbs dangerous mountains, rides a bike
habitually, and raises four children with adoring compassion. Maybe he doesn't enjoy these pleasures
today without taking a chance on the inimitable knuckleball.
Baseball seems secondary to him now, opposing the days when baseball was his everything - a mindset
that nearly took his spirit. The knuckleball has done much more than keep Robert Allen Dickey in the
majors. His story has become an inspiration for overcoming adversity and a model for hope.
It's been a long, winding road, but it seems Dickey has conquered his quest. Truth? Check. Authenticity?
Check. The perfect knuckleball? Checkmate.
Aaron Garland can be reached by email at garland.record@live.com.
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