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Friends are my religion

By Bridget DeMeis
On October 5, 2011

I saw God the other day. The word was sitting on someone's dashboard on the passenger's side of their SUV, facing out so passersby could read it. One thing I could say for certain about it was that it made me think.

I've always had a tough time with religion. I'm still working out what my personal beliefs are but I know there will never be an organized religion that will be able to satisfy some void in my life.

I was raised Roman Catholic and my parents used to drag us all to church every Sunday but it's been quite some time since I've actually stepped foot into a church for mass. Organized religion just never seemed to suit me.

That doesn't mean I don't have my own beliefs though. Everyone has beliefs. Even people who say they don't believe in anything believe in something; that something is simply nothing.

I was forced to face my beliefs just a few days later when I received the news of the death of a high school friend.

I attended a local all-girls Catholic school — ironic I know — and my friend had attended one of our brother schools. Suffice it to say I was shocked when I received the news. I honestly couldn't even be sad about it at first, I was just too shocked.

We weren't super close, but he was still one of my friends and I still felt the loss acutely. He was 20 years old — practically still a fetus. He had dreams and aspirations and he was going to be something spectacular, I just knew it. But now he's gone and it seems like a light somewhere in the world has been permanently snuffed.

This would be the time when people with a religion would turn to that religion for answers or for comfort. But I don't have that. I didn't know where to turn to other than to friends I had almost lost contact with since high school.

In talking to one of them late one night I came to realize what I believe in. I believe in friendship and love. People who will always be there for you no matter how much time has passed or what has happened between you, they will be there in your time of need. They love you for the person you are and they don't mind when you fail because hey, you're only human.

Friends are my religion.  I believe in them, I get comfort and support from them, and they are tangible — which is exactly what someone like me needs out of a belief system.

I've never quite understood extremists but I do understand the need to believe there's something better than what we see. That somewhere out there in the world there is something or someone who is looking out for us.

I take comfort in knowing that when push comes to shove I will always be able to, as The Beatles sang it, "get by with a little help from my friends."

Bridget DeMeis can be reached by email at demeis.record@live.com.


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