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Students go to extreme lengths to get drunk

By Mike Meiler
On April 26, 2012

 

Young people like booze. A lot. I hope that's not a revelation to you.
And people who are under the legal drinking age will jump through the highest of
hoops for a drink.
 
But reports have surfaced that teenagers in the San Francisco Valley were
hospitalized recently with alcohol poisoning after drinking alcohol they obtained
through distilling hand sanitizer.
 
I'm not far removed from my pre-21-year-old days, and I remember what drinking
was like before I was legal. Ask anyone who knows me; I'm far from the right person
to be writing an article telling kids to stay away from booze.
 
So I won't.
 
Look, kids are gonna drink. There's so many ways to obtain alcohol that it's
impossible to completely monitor. All we can really do is make sure they understand
alcohol (which isn't the same as repeatedly telling them that it's bad).
 
Kids. Youngsters. Don't drink hand sanitizer. It's way too easy to get booze in other
ways. Anything you have to distill yourself or combine with salt to separate the
alcohol from isn't worth the effort.
 
Get a fake ID like normal people. They're not particularly hard to come by, and
you're not going to get in trouble for having one. I've seen fakes that looked nothing
like a person work, and worst-case scenario, somebody will tell you no.
 
If you don't have an ID and you're in a pinch, ask someone older. Chances are they're
aware you drink, even if they don't acknowledge it. I refuse to buy for my 16-year-
old brother simply because I know my mother would kill me if she found out I was
supplying him with alcohol, but again, the worst that can happen is someone saying
no.
 
Going out of your way to drink hand sanitizer is way over the top. Don't do it.
Even if you get a slight buzz out of it (okay, maybe more than a slight buzz -
distilled hand sanitizer is 120 proof!), you're still drinking hand sanitizer. Read that
sentence again.
 
Alcohol is a drug for a reason. It impacts your ability to function at a normal level.
Yes, it's fun to be drunk. I'm planning on going home around 2 a.m. after putting this
paper together and having a few myself. But it can also be unsafe, so think before
you drink.
 
Mike Meiler can be reached by email at meiler.record@live.com.

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