Reflection in the days following sexual assault
By Jennifer Waters
On October 17, 2012
With Halloween right around the corner, it's easy to see why students would be getting frightfully
excited about parties and lore.
Classic scary movies, eerie decorations and freaky costumes are just the beginning of the
exhilarating horror to be found. But sometimes scenes from slasher films like "I Spit On Your
Grave" become devastating reality.
A Buffalo State student was sexually assaulted at a party last week. Before fingers point toward
who is at fault and debates rage, think about the victim.
Too often do people ignore their instincts and put themselves in situations they should not be in.
This isn't to say the assailant was in the right.
You cannot say, "Are you surprised that happened to her? Did you see the way she was
dressed?" Although I agree that girls need to be smart about their appearance, I also believe
they have a right to dress how they want.
The girl who was assaulted was attending a party at the time, a situation that takes control out
of her hands from the get-go. Despite this fact, people cannot live as though an attack is lurking
in the shadows, constantly paranoid and afraid to live their lives.
Instead, students should practice caution. If you're planning to attend a party, on or off-campus,
go with friends and watch out for each other. If you've had a history with someone that you
know will be attending, then stay far away from them. Most sexual assaults involve someone the
victim is close to and trusts.
We've all been told to walk with a buddy at night and check to make sure all the windows
and doors are locked before leaving the house, but what should we do when we're in a safe
environment?
Aside from the more obvious ways like avoiding unsettling situations and dressing smart,
women should keep their eyes and ears peeled for anyone who appears to be suspicious or
unwantedly interested.
If someone shows attraction that isn't mutual, be firm and confront the situation immediately.
Don't assume ignoring the attention will make it end.
This is difficult to do, especially given the non-confrontational nature of our society, but it can
possibly save you later.
Stick with people you know when in an unfamiliar place and watch out for one another. Go
beyond watching drinks. Watch the people your group is interacting with and if something
makes you uncomfortable, speak up.
If you're having an issue with someone and it looks to be escalating, seek help immediately. It's
not a sign of weakness to be smart about potentially protecting yourself.
Often victims feel ashamed and guilty, believing it was their fault they were attacked. This blame
can turn deadly if they aren't strong enough to find help.
There is no excuse for this and I do not believe in mercy for the attackers.
However, reality stands that victims are left feeling victimized as long as they are unable to face
what happened.
The incident involving the Buffalo State student is still under investigation and probably will
remain that way, despite the efforts of investigators.
Jennifer Waters can be reached by email at waters.record@live.com.
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